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  • Writer's pictureRobert Taylor, Jr.

Trust before Marriage

The question is why doesn't it ever work out long term? Your feelings get hurt in the end, you have done everything in your power to make it work. So the question is why? What did I do? What's wrong with me? You found the man or woman of your dreams but for some reason you failed and it seems that you go from relationship to relationship and the results are always the same. You blame the other person for the continued problems that exist or that once existed. In the beginning everything was so wonderful, she was beautiful, he was handsome, you talked about every and anything. You talked about everything you wanted him to know and everything you wanted her to know. You two never got to the intimate points of the past, the experiences that you encountered good or bad, you really never expressed to the other what makes you tick, what makes you function as a whole and sharing the intimate parts of your whole being never was discussed because you knew if I told everything those things could be used against you on down the line.

How can you trust someone that you don't really know? The answer to that question is you don't. Often times it is shown through trustful actions, showing one that you care by protecting them, providing for them and loving them unconditionally no matter what has transpired in the past or from what is taking place currently. Non physical time spent is the greatest way to get to know and learn someone. This forces you two to talk and get to know each other on levels you would normally not get to because the physical attraction is so strong you give into the sexual urges. When the ability to touch is no longer an option then we began to see how much a person really enjoys being around you and learn how much they truly want to stay around knowing that giving into the physical cravings isn't available. So then either you practice self discipline because you really like this person or you move on, showing that person that it wasn't really real from the beginning. However you decide to act, just know that being honest with the other party involved and allowing them to make their decisions based on your honest communication is a feather in your cap!

If you can't trust the person your with in all facets of the relationship then it is not going to work. When I say all facets, I mean physically trusting that they will handle your body correctly, mentally trusting that between you two their will always be honesty even if it hurts, spiritually sharing in the connection of the mind and the heart, allowing the vibrations of love to become one from the two of you. Financially trusting each other is one of the biggest reasons relationships fail! The inability to respectfully take care of financial matters is a big no no and could bring households into a place of not being able to withstand. Not trusting your mate to do the right thing with money is something no one wants to experience because in the beginning we promised each other that we were in this together totally. When the red flags begin to present themselves pay close attention. This is the universe giving you a glimpse into what these people are truly made of, so don't ignore the red flags because you really like or love them, or they look so good, or they promise to change. Only through positive actions should you acknowledge the change and their will to do better, verbal promises don't mean shit without positive actions following close behind.

Many people go about the meeting, courting and dating phase never talking about the things that really matter to them. They go off of their desire to have someone and it becomes a thing of when we cross that bridge we will deal with it. Why do you have to get to a negative bridge in the first place if we already have discussed how we are together going to take action on negative things that may pop up in our relationships. Before you get completely consumed with the looks, the touch, the penetration, the kiss, and the other things discussed, make sure you have the conversation of what it is you truly want out of the relationship. Listen to what they want, look into their eyes when they are talking, watch their body language, when you are alone recap the time spent with them. Was the time spent genuine? Were you genuine? Trust is a really big thing and to really trust someone is a really big deal because that means their are no secrets, their is no guest work on how this person would feel about a certain thing or how they would respond or act. Before marriage becomes a topic of discussion make sure you really know the one your with. Now I know some people will pretend to be the person you want them to be and will sell you on what your heart desires, but if there is ever a doubt listen to it, examine your feelings, ask questions and if after all that has been done and your spirit is still feeling uneasy, don't commit until it does, or leave and don't come back. Sometimes it will be the best decision you will ever make or it could be the one you regret. No one is perfect you just do what feels best for you and they have to make you feel comfortable.

Trusting doesn't start after the marriage, trust starts the minute you start communicating. Without it you have nothing! Without it you are headed for relationship failure. By the time you start talking about marriage there should be no doubt about the person you're talking about spending the rest of your life with. Marriage is a coming together of two people who already know each other inside out. Two people who have been tested by the lessons of life, two people who have been in the trenches of life and had each others back time and time again and together survived it all. The feeling that I can't get through this thing without you should be the thought that goes through your mind when thinking about marriage. If you can trust anyone in this world it should be your spouse. Without a doubt I love you because I can trust you, I trust you therefore I can love the shit out of you! Let nothing or no one come between your trust and together there is nothing you two can't accomplish! WSY? RELATIONSHIPS! Keep it Positive!

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