Growing up as a child you had it all, both parents in the home, toys, transportation, clothing and love from two parents. You received that masculine and feminine energy that is required to raise a well balanced young man or woman. Someone who knows how to carry themselves, someone with direction and goals, someone that knows what love looks like, feels like, someone who had love poured into them daily! You were the child that was going to grow up and be a positive contributor to society. As time went by the dynamics in your life changed. Mom and Dad began to fuss and fight on the regular and soon dad or mom was gone. Yet and still you were too young to understand what was going on, but you knew it didn't feel right. Now that one parent is gone you are left to learn how to live with one parent.
Times get hard and that parent you live with constantly fusses about the lack of money or care the other parent is supposed to be providing. The teaching becomes not to trust a man, they are all dogs etc... Don't trust women because they are no good. As time keeps moving, you as a child , teen and young adult have spent most of your time indirectly siding with the parent your with and eventually start believing and becoming them. As an adult your start traveling from relationship to relationships with negative baggage. These relationships never seem to last and the fault ultimately is that of the other person, never yours. You don't know what real love sounds like, feels like or looks like. You begin to give up on love and eventually tell yourself "I'm good by myself"! A lie a lot of people tell themselves, but in reality it's not really what they want. To be brutally honest your heroes (Mother/Father) could have been the worst examples of what living right is! They spoil you and give you everything you want except for quality time. Your mom has her negative vices and so does your dad. You've seen so much negative in your household that you believe that to be the norm. No one sat you down boy or girl to explain how relationships work, how to treat the people you love, how to express your feelings etc... That didn't happen because they really didn't know. You can't teach what you don't know, you can only do your best and in the end it's still damaging!
Now you have been through all the negative and abusive relationships and each time your argument is explaining how good of a person you are! Trying to convince them or yourself? You have been unintentionally broken by your hero's and your surroundings and your lack of knowledge when it comes to relationships is their fault, but eventually becomes yours! At a certain time in your life you should want better for yourself and you should began to seek the knowledge you need to make your circumstances better than they used to be. You should want happiness and the only ways to find it is through learning, asking questions, putting God first and by not repeating the negative things you were doing before. You are not alone, but at times it feels like it. Sometimes the person who truly loves you can't get through to you because you are always on the defense. Sometimes it's okay to listen, every conversation isn't a verbal beat down, sometimes it's a teachable and helping moment that can open your eyes and heart to something you never experienced or had. Be careful who you listen to while going through your crisis. Some of these people are broken just like you. They mean well, but they don't really give you the best advice. Most times the advice comes from bitter, single, jealous, unknowledgeable people. They may want what you have, man, woman, lifestyle etc...
You can be fixed if you just take the time to listen. Sometimes you don't want to listen because of the person who is relaying the message, truth hurts! But you will listen to the ones that agree with you and not tell you the truth, set back! You say you love them, but you speak to them in a reckless manner. That will come back to bite you and start your negative cycle all over again, leaving you wondering why can't I get it right? WSY?
RELATIONSHIPS! Keep it Positive! Becoming a broken vessel can happen in many different ways. this is just one example. Pray, seek the Most High God, ask the right questions and fight the good fight to become a better you. Your mental, spiritual and physical houses depend on it and so does your future!
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