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  • Writer's pictureRobert Taylor, Jr.

Are you listening to me

There are a lot of relationships that have failed because of the lack of listening. The relationships start off great with everyone putting on their best front, always on their best behaviors and treating each other like royalty. I call this beginning phase of the relationship the acting phase or auditioning phase, knowing that if I just act the right way and say the right things I could become the other half to this amazing person. So as time rolls along you date, you go out to the movies, go out to dinner, talk on the phone every night, text and share intimate stories about your life and family. All is well and you seem to be a match made in Heaven! Everything she likes you like and everything he likes you like, it's a wonderful thing and feeling to know we match up perfectly.

As time moves forward you guy's get comfortable and all the things you all used to do have almost disappeared. Maybe you will catch the next great movie or hang out with friends on game day and then back to the old hum drum lifestyle. Where did the spark go, what happened to us making each other laugh and smile for the rest of our lives? In an attempt to rekindle the fire she expresses how she feels, stating that she doesn't feel all the way happy like she used too. She touches him in a loving manner, but it is not reciprocated. She looks with the want of love like she used to and it is ignored. She begins to wonder what have I done to make him not find me attractive anymore? What is going on with us? He expresses that he is not as happy as he once was, he touches her in a flirtatious manner, but it is not acknowledge with any loving gestures in return, he calls her the loving nickname he used to call her and she kind of ignores it, He suggest that they do something fun but she states that she doesn't have the energy to participate. This relationship is going no where fast and something needs to be done immediately. As each one looks at other couples looking to be as happy as they were at one time it starts to take it's toll on the relationship.

How do you get back to where you once were? Let's start by being honest with ourselves. I loved him or her so much at one point and I fought tooth and nail to bring him or her into my life. I don't want to lose this love but how do I get it back? They were both talking but no one was listening. Listening is not just hearing with your ears, it's listening with your whole heart and being able to listen with all of your senses. There were gestures made with the touches of love that you once craved and loved. There was expressions of how one feels about the relationship and how they want that loving feeling back. There were looks of love, but those were being ignored as well. Touching, talking, looking and listening four of the five senses that are being used to communicate how one feels. These are the tools needed to start the process of getting back to loving each other, but you can't ignore the person you love. You have to get up and make things work to bring back that fire you two once had. Don't become overly comfortable thinking this boring existence is going to last forever. The things you are not willing to do someone else is just waiting on the opportunity to do all the things you are not.

Forever is what you promised each other and somewhere along the line the promise got lost. The ability to keep the fire burning can be a challenge as life has a way of throwing distractions in your way, but you have to take control of your life and never become so comfortable with what you like that you forget what she likes or what he likes and what you two like together. Once you get that fire burning again then maybe you can use that other sense (Taste)! You know what I mean? Wink! WSY? Do you agree? Have you ever been in this situation? Get back to loving each other and never stop listening!

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